Final Thoughts

This was a great semester, and I am glad I was given the opportunity to look at this problem in our society, as well as learn ways I can fix them. When I first signed up for the course, I felt like I couldn't change anything, but then Betsy, my professor, told me I had to stop thinking that way. So I did. And I found that I can change things, even if it is just the way that I approach ideas because being the change is the first step. It's the only way a person can make changes to things around them. I am planning to take another step and set up a challenge day on my campus in the Spring semester, where we take students from all different walks of life, put them in a room together doing ice breakers, so they can understand that they stand on some common ground. I also want to set up a Human Rights Club where any person who is for human rights, not just gay rights, can join and help make changes. I am very excited about my hand in making changes, and feel that I got a lot of the tools I will need from this class.

Dude, You're a Fag

In C.J. Pascoe’s book Dude, You’re a Fag, Pascoe looks at the lives of high school students at River High in a town she calls Riverton in north central California. Her analysis was of “fag” discourse in high schools and what teachers are doing to encourage heterosexism. She highlights a very problematic issue, one that stems back to Guyland- by now I’m sure you can see that everything that has the word trouble in it can stem back to Guyland- she looks at the word “fag” and what it means for masculinity. The word “fag” is used to relate someone who is un-masculine, and the students at River High describe that the term is the worst thing a guy can be called. Pascoe explains that the school is very receptive to heterosexual norms and reinforces them daily. She uses an example of a social science teacher named Mrs. Mac, who is a very popular teacher on campus, and has pictures of heterosexual couples at proms and formals all along the cabinets in her room. In an example to discuss how people have different laws in different states, she used the example of a twelve year old being able to get married, instead of discussing a very prevalent issue, which is homosexuals being denied their rights. The school does show a receptive to change, however small it may be. They allowed for the Gay/Straight Alliance to be formed on campus, although it’s members, whether gay or straight, are used as targets for those who like to use the word “fag”.

The word “fag” means gay, which means feminine. So when guys are called “fag”s, they have done something to appear un-masculine. “fag” is also used among guys when they are upset with one another or are joking, “Dude, you’re such a “fag”,” could be a phrase used by one guy who gets beat by his friend in a video game. It does not necessarily mean in this instance that the guy who lost the game thinks his friend is un-masculine; he is just upset at his friend and wants to insult him. “fag”, which means gay, is a huge insult to guys, it is one of the biggest insults that guys use. Instead of calling someone an asshole, which would be just as appropriate without putting any group of people down, they use “fag” because they know the word carries meaning. Pascoe describes an instance during her observations at River High where the school was throwing a creative arts craft fair and children from the elementary were encouraged to attend. At one point, a student ran through the halls shouting, “There’s a faggot over there! There’s a faggot over there! Come look!” (52). The children went over to where the boy was leading them to, and another student pursed his lips and started walking towards the young boys, swinging his hips. The ten-year-old boys ran back down the hallway, “screaming in terror” (53). This instance is problematic for a lot of reasons. To name just a few, it shows that the students of River High have a very limited view of what a homosexual acts and looks like, and they are passing their stereotypical views on to younger children. They also are teaching the young boys that gays are something to be feared. This is why you hear so many guys later in life say “I am okay with gay guys, as long as they don’t, like, hit on me.” They say this because of these stereotypical teachings they see earlier in their lives. Gay men are not overly sexual beings that jump on any man they can because they are desperate.

There was a student who Pascoe talked to who was described as heterophobic because of his harsh treatment by school administration, students, and other adults in his life. He was in the Gay/Straight Alliance and was a part of theatre. He sang and danced, and was often subject to ridicule. Dancing is seen as a sure way to get called a “fag” at River High. Due to his treatment, Ricky, the student, now had a negative view of heterosexuals, just like heterosexuals had of him, although his feelings were a bit more valid. It is just sad because a lot of these students who are running around shouting “fag” at their male classmates do not realize that they are representing the heterosexual community and have a responsibility to represent it in an appropriate way. Ricky also describes how he has been subject to a lot of personal questions by classmates, such as, “When did you know you were gay?” and “Doesn’t it hurt?” When I read this, I became infuriated because some of those in society feel since homosexuals are “deviants,” their punishment is to be poked and prodded like a lab rat. It is nice that students like Ricky, and Kurt from Glee, are able to be out in such an oppressive environment.

Pascoe points out a very interesting analysis about fag discourse, that it is fueled by gender and race. It is uncommon that a girl would be caught calling one of her friends a “fag”, or even using the word. The word carries weight mainly in the masculine society, whereas with girls, it is not an insult they feel they should use. Also, girls do not often call each other dykes to insult their femininity. The word “fag” is a very specific insult in the male world. The other interesting detail Pascoe points out is fag discourse is more of a racial attribute. A lot of white males feel comfortable using the word, whereas African Americans do not engage in calling one another “fags” quite as often. Instead, African Americans insult one another by referring to one another as “white.” Pascoe explains “Precisely because African American men are so hypersexualized in the United States, white men are, by default, feminized, so white was a stand-in for fag among many of the African American boys at River High. Two of the behaviors that put a white boy at risk for being labeled a fag didn’t function in the same way for African American boys” (71). So does white mean feminine to African Americans? Or is it just the lowest thing an African American can be called, the way “fag” is the worst thing a white male can be called?

Pascoe further points to girls at River High who were “out” lesbians were not taunted half as much as Ricky was. One out lesbian, who also played sports, was actually the prom queen. While the homosexual community is overall marginalized, it seems that there is a bigger acceptance of lesbians than gay men because men who are gay are not living up to the masculinity they should own. Being a lesbian is seen as cool and sexy, whereas being seen as gay is a betrayal to ones manhood. The athletic girls at River High wore basketball shorts, tank tops, sports bras, and tennis shoes and were still seen as popular because they do not have as much a responsibility to femininity to be a girly girl. The girls get attention, but not ridicule. While girls are expected to marry off someday and have children, it seems more of a crime for a guy not to fulfill society’s expectation of him. Conversely, if a guy, like Ricky, was on the dance team and wore a leotard to class because he had a recital that day, he would get called a “fag.” Girls are able, in this regard, to have more freedom with their sexual identity. This also shows further that women are seen as less important than men since they can essentially dress like guys and not get as much notice for it. The cycle must end.

In Pascoe’s conclusion, she explains that it is up to adults to “configure spaces that support youths’ variety of gender and sexual expressions. It is also up to adults to protect young people from the vicious teasing and harassment rampant in most modern high schools” (173). She is right. The adults in the schools are part of the problem, there needs to be a zero tolerance policy on using the word “fag.” If a student uses it, they should receive detention. More than three times, they should get in school suspicion. If more than five, a suspension, and so on. The parents need to be in support of these practices as well, so a change can be made. This word should never be used. Period. The only way it is being used is to hurt someone and make them feel like their differences make them less of a man.

Masculinity and the Latin Culture

Inquiring about masculinity in the Latin culture was both interesting and difficult. It was difficult because there were a lot of different articles about Latino men, and it was hard to figure out which information I would use. It was also interesting because there were a lot of positive traits that Latino men have that I was not aware of. The book Hombres y Machos: Masculinity and Latino Culture helped me uncover the traits that Latino males encompassed, as well as the stereotypes given to them. Like any other group, there are preconceived notions about the Latino man-mainly that he is “macho.” The “macho” Latino man is the same as the guys of Guyland and the hegemonic Black males in Gender Talk-he is authoritative, misogynistic, the ruler of his familial sphere, and overtly sexual. Interestingly enough, “macho” is a construct from American popular culture, and more Latino men are actually moving away from that idea. Author of Hombres y Machos, Alfredo Mirande explains “Traditionally, most of the generalizations concerning Latino culture and Latino men were derived from research typically carried out by white men who lacked genuine knowledge and understanding of the cultural patterns they observed” (19). I am not surprised that the ideas about masculinity and the Latin culture have been conducted mainly by the dominant culture. This helps to create the ideas about the Latin community that the white culture wants to put out, and makes the rest of society believe in it. When looking at masculinity in the Latin culture, other factors must be considered, such as religion. The Catholic faith is a central religion in a lot of Mexican families, and some of the ideas about masculinity get acted upon because it is a part of the religious teachings. This is not to say that the Catholic faith teaches men to be “macho,” but it does stress, in some areas, the sin of homosexuality. I have seen this within my own family, my grandfather being an avid follower of the Catholic faith believes homosexuality is a sin, and a feminine man must be a “homo.” The pressure to be seen as a “man” may sometimes translate to be “machismo.” It is an overcompensation in order to protect oneself from being called a homosexual.

Celia Jaes Falicov, author of the article “Changing Constructions of Machismo for Latino Men in Therapy: The Devil Never Sleeps,” discusses the machismo man and the ways that the face of Latino masculinity is changing. She states, “It appears that Latino men, like White men, live in a culture of ‘‘masculinities’’ in which each man expresses his maleness in a unique way, as a blend of mainstream cultural expectations along with alternative features or behaviors” (3). Like any other culture, there is a mixture of positive and negative attributes given to Latino masculinity. It was surprising how many fathers in the Latin community were nurturing towards their children. As seen in Guyland, these parents were the same ones whose children grew up with positive ideas about masculinity, and felt as though they could make their own rules on the man they were to become.

I asked a few of the guys I work with who are Mexican about masculinity and the lessons they were taught as young boys about what it means to “be a man.” I also asked them about whether or not the idea of the machismo man played a big role in the shaping of masculinity in their culture. I needed some other insight because frankly, the book Hombres y Machos is a little difficult to get into. When asking these guys first about the idea of the machismo man, they explained that this cultural practice where the man is the ruler of the household is an idea that has slowly started fading out in America. They told me that I could definitely see examples of machismo behavior in Mexico, but the characteristics of a macho man are different since adapting to America. I started to form an idea about the way I viewed masculinity in the Latin culture versus how I felt about it in the Black community. I am torn because in the Black community, it seems as though there is a huge need to prove ones masculinity to the dominant culture that has been emasculating these men for years. Their overt masculine practices such as the dehumanization of Black women in music videos seems to stem from their want to be “cool” at all times. In the Latin culture, however, it seems more of a cultural practice to have the man be at the head of the household as well as the more dominant figure. I want it to be known here that I do not seek to dissect or change one’s cultural practices just because it is not the way I live my life. I would never suggest that the way Middle Eastern women stay completely covered means they are objects, and that they must fight back in order to stop these practices from continuing. I realize that in different areas of the world, there are different conceptions of oppression, as well as customs that are formed by the male being at the forefront. I cannot urge change in situations like the ones I have described because I feel uncomfortable suggesting change in a religious practice. With that being said, it is difficult for me to suggest that the way some Latinos conduct themselves towards women should be changed. I feel this way because, as my friends told me, this masculinity is a cultural practice more than a tool used to compensate for a lack of power, as seen in regards to Gender Talk. I am not sure if I am right, but I don’t think that is the aim of this class or my journey. The goal is to get me thinking.

I asked my friends whether their fathers showed them affection when they were growing up. They told me that in a lot of Mexican households, the boys did not feel urged to express their emotions towards their fathers and usually saved the discussion of feelings for their mom’s. One of my friends told me that in twenty-one years, his father had never said to him that he loves him. He said it was just not something that done in his family, or a lot of families he knew about. The other guys agreed with this statement. While I personally feel this is problematic because it is the same types of parenting practices seen in Guyland, I feel as though, again, it is different because it is a cultural practice. I am not saying that I don’t think this one aspect of the culture should change, because I believe that children need to hear that they are cared for by both parents, I am just simply saying I feel conflicted in saying it is an issue that must be fixed. It goes back to the example I gave about Middle Eastern women and how I cannot interject my own personal ideas on the rights of women to suggest that their cultural practices need to be changed. I cannot do it. In Hombres y Machos, Mirande explains that a lot of the more traditional views of those in the Latin community, such as the machismo model, are being countered with more fathers who are showing their child affection, as well as taking on more traditionally female roles in the household, since the wives are working.

I have to say that the section of masculinity I thought was going to be the easiest, turned out to be the most complex. With Guyland and Gender Talk, I was presented issues of hyper masculine men, trying to reassert their power in a world where they feel they have become emasculated. In Hombres y Machos, it appears as though a lot of the ideas of masculinity come, not from this pull towards recognition, but more as a responsibility to the culture and religious practices. In Guyland and Gender Talk, there were pressing issues about what these hegemonic masculine practices were doing to women, as well as the face of those cultures. I was able to find problems that needed to be solved, especially in regards to the women who were helping to cheer these practices on. For example, the girls who wanted to be seen as equal to the guys in Guyland and would try to gain equality by getting inebriated and allowing men to take advantage of their bodies. It is wrong because it is directly hurting the girl as well as showing these guys that women are objects to conquer. The point I am trying to get at is this: I may not personally agree with the structure of some of the more traditional Mexican families who place the men at the head and the women as less, but I can’t find it problematic because I don’t agree with it. There are lifestyles I would not choose, but it does not mean they are wrong or problematic just because I would not live in them. Even though I do not agree with the level of pressure put on some of these male children to grow up and be not only straight but have a impenetrable shield around them does not mean I can attack it. I may have contradicted myself in regards to other posts I have given, but for some reason, I view a lot of the text that I have gotten from Hombres y Machos differently than I do Guyland and Gender Talk.

Bullying

Recently, there has been a downpour of bullying and suicides with young people. Back in September, a college student named Tyler Clementi committed suicide after his roommate outed him as a homosexual. Clementi’s roommate, Dharun Ravi, set up a webcam and broadcasted Clementi’s encounter with another man. Clementi had not come out, he was a shy kid who kept to himself. On September 22^nd, he jumped off a bridge, killing himself. The bullies were “just messing around” and didn’t think that Clementi would take it so seriously. They apparently did not think about what they were doing. Being gay, especially in such a oppressive society as ours, is a scary thing for someone to admit. They should have the right to admit it because it is their truth to tell. Outting someone before they are ready and doing it to have a good laugh is disgusting. Tyler Clementi is not the only one. There have been kids as young as thirteen who have killed themselves because they were teased for exhibiting gay mannerisms. This is how the hegemonic masculinity starts, however. These kids who are bullying others for a good laugh are the same ones who will grow up to be shining members of Guyland someday. A lot of the time, the bullies of these kids are projecting their own questioning thoughts about their sexuality onto their victims. About a week ago on Glee, the openly gay Kurt Hummel’s battle with a football jerk finally came to a boiling point. Karofsky, the bully, pushed Kurt one too many times into his locker, and Kurt finally approached him, telling him that no matter what he did, he was not going to beat the gay out of Kurt anymore than Kurt was going to beat the ignorant out of Karofsky. Karofsky then did something that was not surprising: he kissed Kurt. He threatened Kurt with his life if Kurt told anyone, and when it looked like Karofsky was going to get expelled, the school board pulled for him to be reinstated, saying that the bullying was not that big of a deal. This is a fictitious show, but it deals with a lot of real issues, such as the relationship between Kurt and Karofsky. Only in real life, kids like Kurt may end up killing themselves because the bullying is too much to take. The show represents the public in a truthful light, however, by showing that they did not put too much value on bullying someone for being gay. Kurt had to end up transferring schools because this kid was bothering him. It shouldn’t be this way, where homosexual kids are made to feel as though being gay is their problem and they must suffer the consequences, and if they cannot, they must find a way to fix it. There has to be some sort of justice for the victims of bullying because if there is not, we are practically encouraging harassment in the schools. Furthermore, we are teaching these bullies to become violent adults, perfect for Guyland and the after years. “People” magazine did an excellent article on bullying, which is where I am getting a lot of the information about Tyler Clementi from. They did interviews with teenagers who have been bullied for being obese, Muslim, and of course, gay. They also did interviews with kids who were bullies. The kids who were bullies admitted to believing that harassment was done because they thought they were being fully and cool, but they soon realized the damaging effects it had on people. The truth of the matter is we all judge other people, some more than others, but we have to ask ourselves why and what we hope to gain from doing it. We also must remember Tyler Clementi and the other kids who lost out on their lives because of judgments like the ones we have passed. I feel that the articles in “People” as well as the delicate attention given to characters like Kurt on Glee is a step in the right direction towards educating everyone, but especially adolescent males, that bullying is not synonymous with being a man.

I wanted to post this because after my brief look at Masculinity and the Latin culture, I will be discussing a book called Dude, You're a Fag.