Guyland chapter 5

In chapter five of Kimmel’s Guyland, he explores the world of initiations in the form of hazing rituals. The chapter, as most of the chapters in this book go, was eye opening and disturbing. He discusses the importance of binge drinking and fraternities in Guyland, as these are certain rites of passage that guys need to be exposed to in order to shape them into a the masculine beasts they were meant to be. This chapter also pushed more ideas about the roles that girls play in shaping Guyland, and what can be done by other guys to change this sick society of gang rape and homoerotic hazing.

Kimmel describes initiations as something that can “also reassure the guys that they are not yet men, not yet apart of the adult world, and that there’s still time to have a little fun before they have to find their way in the real world” (Kimmel 98). The fun these guys are having, however, is not something I would measure as “little.” Initiation rituals, or hazing as it is more commonly known, include binge drinking at all hours of the night, something that Kimmel says results in death more often than not. He explains that “three fourths of all Greeks are binge drinkers” (Kimmel 104). So what drives these guys to partake in these dangerous acts to be initiated into Guyland? The answer is simple: popularity. Popularity, as I have learned, is not something that dies at high school graduations, it is something that lives on and gets bigger as one enters the college arena. If a guy wants to be popular, he must be initiated into a group of other guys who hold the key to that popularity. Who are these guys? They are members of guyland. Kimmel explains, “Initiations in Guyland are about the passage from boyhood to manhood. Boyhood is the world of women-Mama’s boys, wimps, wusses, and losers-or the world of me who are considered women-gays, fags, homos, queers. Or babies” (Kimmel 99). The rituals that one does to cross this barrier from boyhood to manhood, however, is infantile. The whole process is infantile, if you think about it, but that is not what these guys are focusing on. Some fraternities will make their pledges dress as babies and eat regurgitated food from other brothers. Kimmel describes this as “If initiation is going to validate your manhood, first you have to regress to babyhood” (Kimmel 99). What I thought was interesting was how most of the actions of those who live in guyland are not marks of a man, they are, in a sense, very child like. They are purely motivated by their Id and their ego doesn’t even seem to come in to play to let them know that their actions are not wise. Or maybe the ego does come in to play, but the id, that part that needs to be a part of guyland, is much stronger. The voice that says “if you’re not a part of this, you’re a homo,” is screaming inside of these guys at all times.

There are so many issues that are raised in my mind as I read these chapters, but the one that seems to be at the forefront is: are we encouraging violence? We must be, since a lot of these guys are now CEOs of companies and were once a part of guyland in their college years. We have created this space of “boys will be boys” and allowed them to go off to school and mess up as much as they want to, as long as they eventually come out of it. It reminds me of other rituals that take place in the Amish faith, in the form of rumspringa, where people are allowed to “run around” at the age of 16 for as long as they like, until they choose baptism into the Amish church, or to leave the community forever. During this time, guys can sleep with whomever they choose, drink as much and as often as they like, and essentially get away with murder, all with this notion that it is their rite of passage. What is more, they do not get punished in any way for the acts that they committed during this time, as long as they come back to the church someday. It is similar to guys in guyland in that they also do not get reprimanded for their lewd behavior, if anything, they get a free pass because it is all under the guise of “finding oneself.”

The idea of “having fun” needs to come with limitations and consequences, if the fun that people are having is in any way like the “fun” that members of guyland are having. The fact that people are essentially encouraging these guys to go out into the world and rape girls and drink themselves into oblivion is frightening to say the least. No matter what someone says, you do not grow out of the pull towards violence like these guys have displayed. It is not as simple as saying, “Yea, I raped a few girls in college, but now I’m done with that. I’m a family man.” If you rape girls for sport, then obviously there is a deeper problem going on in your early life that is only crafted further with the support and encouragement of guyland. We are encouraging this behavior, even if all authority figures are doing is ignoring it. By ignoring it, they are allowing the problems to get worse. For example, with fraternities who haze and binge drink, the community praises these guys for doing absolutely nothing good to contribute to the world. When a recent event happened with a fraternity in my area giving girls roofies and date raping them, they were disbanded for a few years, if even that. Now they are back and people say it is because they “have changed” and those who committed those acts are gone. But we all know that is not true because those who have left are now alumni and have been throwing an arm around the new guys, teaching them the ropes of guyland. I am not saying that all Greek life is bad, it is just not fair that some are held up on an infallible soap box because they are “creating the future man.” If that is what the future man is, someone who rapes girls, tortures others to become a part of their group, and binge drinks, then I am afraid for the future society.

So what can women and men do to change guyland? I think for women, they need to stop encouraging this behavior and also stop trying desperately to be a token member of guyland. For example, Kimmel discusses the role of women in guyland and how they have the “misguided notion of being equal to the guys” (Kimmel 100). One girl in particular was trying to assert her equality to the men by hooking up with a guy she did not know after drinking a lot of guys under the table. She believes that guys see her as equal and respect her as such, but little does she know, she has just become a token in their world. For her to sleep with a guy that she barely knows, she is giving off the vibe that men are still dominant and that a woman must use sex in order to be recognizable in guyland. Also, she puts herself at a risk by drinking as much as she did because now she has made herself available to being taken advantage of. A woman trying to be equal to a guy in guyland is not possible because the only way to get them to notice her is to use her body to be validated. It is a disgusting practice that allows men to stay at the head of the situation. Women need to discourage these practices by not allowing themselves to be tricked into thinking they could ever be a part of guyland. They need to stop dating these guys who disrespect people in the ways that guyland encourages, and become enough for themselves instead of needing approval from men. They also need to stop going to these parties with guys who are notorious for bad behavior because they are only putting themselves in a bad situation. This is not to say that a girl who gets raped is asking for it, just that girls need to be aware of dangerous people and stay away from them. I’m not sure this will end guyland, but it will help girls to not become sport for guyland members. As for other guys, this is the hard part. I have not completely come up with a fool proof method for overturning guyland, but I know that it is going to take the participation of other males. The reason this is difficult is because a lot of guys have been bred for guyland since they were little children. Their fathers were members, and have brought up their sons to be shining members as well. But if there was a way that guys could see that they have other options, that being a man is not synonymous with being violent, I think it could work. How that is to happen, I have no idea yet. It is difficult because I feel as though the parents wouldn’t allow their sons to take part in women’s study classes in high school as well as learning about homosexuality and the harmful effects of gay bashing. I hope I can figure out a more thoughtful plan for guys to stop the events in guyland as I read on.